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Real Estate Reality, The Wacky Hazards of Long Island Realtors

Read on for some realtor horror stories that we took a shine to

As promised, I have asked for and received stories from fellow realtors that reflect the often funny and bizarre nature of the business…this is just the tip of the iceberg.  Every realtor has a story along the lines of the following.  Hope you had a nice Mother’s Day all you moms, moms to be, mom wanna-bes and those who’ve opted out (motherhood can be greatly overrated at times, other (most) times, not). READ ON:

I was showing a home and meeting the parents for the first time.  As we started to shake hands, I felt a bug crawling up my pants towards my butt.  I screamed, grabbed it through my pants and turned and ran towards the front door with my hand pinching my leg.  The lock on the door was ancient and the key wouldn’t quite go in.  I dropped all my papers on the floor and fumbled on my knees.  Once I got inside I thanked God nobody was home.  I dropped my pants in the middle of the foyer.  The bug was the size of a quarter and ugly as sin with a hard-shell back.

I wound up selling them a house.  Ooo my Gosh, that’s another story in itself! A scare of mold that wasn’t.  A scare of termites that weren’t.  Oooo and how about the time the pipes frozeeeee.  RD

Funny I don’t know but definitely embarrassing.  I was a newish agent at the time and I was taking buyers to see a few houses.   Of course I didn’t let them know how new I really was.  At one of the houses I took them to no one answered I did hear them vacuuming inside so they did not hear me knock.  I opened the door yelled up to the homeowner that we were here and preceded to let the buyers in the house.  The homeowner asked me what I was there for and I told him to sell his house.  At that point I realized there was a problem and asked if his house was for sale and he said no but the one a few doors down was.  PN

During a brokers open in a very expensive house I walked in on the owner clipping his nose hairs in the master bath!   GC

I was running late for a listing appointment. It was the second time I had been to the house, and it was very early in the morning (of course the bus was late that day).  Anyway I go rushing over there thinking that my chances of getting the listing were kyboshed since I was late, pulled in the driveway…the owner came running out in her bathrobe and said….Where do I sign?……. MD

Showing a house to a client/friend who is wearing a favorite pair of expensive sling backs.  Greeted by a mildly sedated homeowner who is gushing over her 2 tiny dogs…one of which locks on the toe of my girlfriend’s toe (and most favorite shoes). She in turn starts screaming and snapping her leg so the dog will release, which it doesn’t.   I am just short of wetting my pants unable to help her as the mildly sedated homeowner quietly observes until the dog releases.  My friend never bought, but thoroughly appreciates the wacky hazards of the business.  RW

Going to show one of my listings where my client never put her vibrator, bong, hand cuffs and other sex and drug stuff away! The buyer was a sad divorced women who was amazed with the seller’s life style…..she bought!  VS

I had gone to show a legal two family home. The tenant that was living in the property at the time greeted my client and I outside as we pulled up. He was shirtless, hairy and stuffing down what appeared to be a meatball parm hero, did I mention the gut? Apparently annoyed about the sale of the property he grumbled ‘Wadda you doin’ here?’ I said, “We are here to see the house.”  He said, “Well my sides a little messy, but don’t worry I lit a match in the bathroom.”  We went in anyway and while inside we saw him outside.  He was in the process of ripping the Real Estate yard sign out and threw it into the street…..once we left, my client asked, “Do you see things like that a lot?’ I said, “Not often but I guess that’s what makes this career so great, the element of surprise is always a possibility.”  EE

Like how I walked in a house and saw a naked guy sitting on a couch?  JK

I was showing a house to a buyer and as the homeowner was pointing out the features we go to the finished basement where lying on the couch is a person with a white sheet pulled over its head. The homeowner just continues to point out the features never mentioning the body.  Very bizarre!  DC

I recently sold a house and asked to purchase an urn that the sellers had.  The husband said I could have it.  I drove around with it in my car for a day or two and got a call from the seller that they needed the urn back his mother in laws ashes were in it.  LR

Next week, in honor of what has been a spectacular couple of weeks weather-wise, I will focus on waterfront homes along our iconic North Shore.  Limited commodity that waterfront so grab it while you can…if you can.  Sure, nature takes a more definitive toll on waterfront homes and then there is the insurance factor, but surely concessions can be made to have  a patch o’ land with a full frontal of the water.

No pics with picks today, instead here’s a link to Prudential Douglas Eliman’s first quarter overview of the Long Island real estate market.

Risa Ziegler

Risa Ziegler
Prudential Douglas Elliman
156 Main Street
Huntington, NY 11724
631-549-4400 Office #
516-457-4282 Cell #
631-549-6894 Fax #

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